The holiday season is upon us and I am so excited. I love the lights...the trees...the presents...the friends. Oh, that last one hurt a little. Is it just me or does it seem that friendships and relationships in general are breaking up at an alarming rate? Just the other day I heard that someone in my life was planning on ending our friendship because I took a stand for grace in a situation that they disagreed with. Man, these relationship issues are sticky. Though the holidays are a time of lights on Evergreen trees, there is a lot of darkness and death that people experience during these times as well.
In the movie, It's A Wonderful Life, Clarence (a second class angel who was trying to earn his wings) is sent to "help" George Baily. When he asks his superior angel if George is sick, the superior angel replies, "Oh, it's worse than that...he's discouraged." All of us have been sick in our body. We go to the doctor and take some medication in an effort to make our body feel better. But to be sick in the heart is a pain that no drug can cure. It's a hurt that can quickly lead to depression or a feeling of hopelessness.
The Bible says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick…” (Proverbs 13:12) The sickness of the heart is one of the most damaging hurts that we can all experience. This sickness can lead to many different places. One of the places that I have been recently was a place of depression. There is nothing more trying, troublesome, terrific and thrilling to me than planting a church. And yet, I understand personally this sickness of the heart - this hurt caused by people that can drive a stake so deep into you that you are ready to give up and die. Though this is a dark time, I also know personally that there is a light at the end of this tunnel. This too shall pass. But on the other side now, let me share with you a few things I have come to learn the hard way that Hopelessness causes.
1. Disorientation
If you had stopped me while on the downward spiral of depression and told me where I was I would not have known it. "Crazy", I would have said. When you are spinning out of control you have no reference point to draw from. You lose your ability to be rational. You get lost in the hurt.
When you go to a doctor and tell the doctor that your side hurts, he is not going to just write you up a prescription. He is going to perform tests because a doctor understands that your problem is not simply the pain in your side. When he finds the cause of your pain he can help you treat it.
But its interesting that it is wrong and unprofessional for a doctor to prescribe himself medication. He is wise enough to help you with your aches and pains but when it comes to his own, it is unethical for him to treat himself. The medical community understands that when you are hurting you cannot be objective about yourself, you need a fresh set of eyes.
The Bible sums up this hurting persons feelings this way, “Where then is my hope? Who can see any hope for me?” (Job 17:13). When you are disoriented, you need someone else to come in and help you navigate your hurt but depression tries to keep you alone.
2. Drifting
One time I went fishing all night in Portland, Oregon. When we left the dock we briefly rowed away from shore. After fishing all night the sun came up to reveal beautiful mountains, trees and animals stepping through the brush for a morning drink. But when I looked around I could not find the dock. We had drifted in the night. What I didn't realize was that the boat in the night had also turned 180 degrees. The dock was a ways away but because we had drifted, I didn't know where to look to find dry land.
Anytime we launch into the unknown and push away from the solid ground we are so familiar with drifting is possible. Add heartache and/or depression and/or hopelessness into the brew and you have a mess on your hands.
Isaiah says it this way, “We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way.”
3. Despair
People who feel like they have no place to turn, like life is beyond repair, have taken up residence in the land of despair.
Paul, in 2 Corinthians 1:8 shares his feelings of despair, “We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life.”
When you get to this point of depression and hopelessness, the light of your heart and life is about to go out. You will feel like you just want to run away from everything and everyone. The hurt is so bad that nothing anyone could do is going to make it go away. But there is power in knowledge.
I am convinced that most people like me don't know the real causes of the depression that they are facing. They are very familiar with the symptoms listed above and these absorb their time and conversations constantly. Here are some of the very 3 common causes of depression.
1. Death
We have all seen how the death of a loved one effects others. But what about the death of a relationship? What about someone you counted on who turns their back on you? What about a marriage that breaks up? What about that kind of death? Believe me, it can start the downward spiral of depression faster than anything else I know.
(1 Corinthians 15:54) “When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying that is written will come true: "Death has been swallowed up in victory.”
Some of you need to know and begin to believe that there is life after death.
2. Debts
Financial pressure is one of the leading causes of marital trouble. Our country is addicted to the drug of debt. Our economy is based on it and run by it. But any and all debt is bad. Including relationship debt. That is where someone hurts us, asks our forgiveness and then we hold the debt in our hearts. We know that we have free hurt coming at some time. But the Bible says there is only one kind of debt that we should be using.
(Romans 13:8) “Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law.”
3. Disputes
Another key cause of depression is unresolved disputes and then being someone who constantly causes them. Do you know anyone who just always seems to be causing trouble? Raising issues that never seem to get resolved? Listen to what the Bible says.
(Proverbs 17:14 NLT) “Beginning a quarrel is like opening a floodgate, so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.”
Finally, let me give you a few steps that you can take to increase the power of hope in your life and break the downward spiral of depression.
1. Hope requires trust
(Psalm 42:11) “Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.”
You have to trust in something solid and sure if you are going to stop the drifting effect of depression. There is nothing more sure and solid than God's love for us all. Put your trust in Him.
2. Revive your spirit by getting some rest.
(Psalm 127:2) “It is useless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, anxiously working for food to eat; for God gives rest to his loved ones.”
Rest is not the same as sleep. You can sleep but your mind can race. Rest is about shutting down the inputs in your life for a while and just relaxing. Sleep is part of it. But perhaps you don't think you have the time? You will either take the time to rest or depression will take years off your life. God give REST to those he loves.
3. Renew your soul by changing your mind.
(Jeremiah 29:11-13) “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
Our actions begin as thoughts. How we think we become. If you are tired of being depressed, this scripture gives you the key to transformation - changing your mind. If you change your mind, you change your actions and reactions to life.
4. Regain your strength by building your body.
(Isaiah 40:31) “…but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.”
Your body is a fine tuned machine. It deserves the right fuel. Learn how to eat properly. Exercise 3 times a week. Drink water instead of soda. These are all things that will help you to reduce the weight of living that you are putting on your body. Your body will reward you with a more positive outlook on life, your mind will become clearer, your body stronger, you will have more energy. Believe me, you can eat your way out of depression.
But John, where is prayer? Why don't I just have you pray for me? Well, prayer to me is a constant part of being a full-time follower of Christ. So it is a given. As far as me praying for you, I will be happy to but I ask you this question....are you praying for you? Until you take responsibility for yourself, you will never truly find hope for your hopelessness.
Never too old to learn.
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